The Eulogy read by Philip Seabrook at the Service on 28/9/2024: Mother was a Long. Her life was very long. I hope this won’t be too long… Margaret Long was born in Lichfield in 1925, the second of three children. Her father had been a Maths scholar at Peterhouse Cambridge until called up for the First World War, during which he was gassed at Passchendaele. He survived, married and ran his parent’s shop in the centre of Lichfield, where he became Sheriff and later Mayor. All three children were well educated, with Mother winning numerous prizes and ending up Head Girl. But don’t think of her as Goody Two Shoes… One summer holiday she rode pillion on the motorbike of one of brother John’s school friends, who asked her if she would like to drive it herself. She did, but on turning a corner she came across a policeman and instead of carrying on quietly she stopped and doubtless looked guilty. The policeman reacted and asked to see her driving licence and insurance – which of course she did not have. A fine and points on a yet to be issued provisional licence. Mother went to study Domestic Science and Teaching in Edinburgh in 1943. It was a tough course, with a great emphasis on doing things properly and she carried this approach through the rest of her life. In her last term she came down to London to interview for a teaching job (which she got) and returned via Oxford to see her brother John at university. She stayed the night with him, where she met one of his house mates – a politically minded, rather dashing World War Two veteran called Tony Seabrook. She never said whether it was love at first sight, but when John organised a Summer working holiday on a farm she was part of the group. This was just post-War and farming was in crisis – as it still is of course - and this was patriotic. The holiday was pretty strenuous – hoeing weeds all day, bringing in crops manually, making stooks of the straw after harvest, lifting them onto and off trailers and then stacking them in haystacks or hay barns. Lots of heavy lifting which would now be done by machinery. It seems that Mother had not been too traumatised by her previous driving irregularity as the group of 12 bicycled across Salisbury Plain by night with one headlight and one tail light between them. Their destination was sunrise on the Summer Solstice which they saw from inside the inner circle of Stonehenge – those were freer times! The farm holiday seems to have been a 1940s cross between Internet Dating and Love Island. Her sister, Angela, was also there and Mother tells us Angela watched the other girls closely and if any seemed to take too much interest in Tony, she stepped in to divert them onto cooking duties. What may have happened in the haylofts I leave to your imagination, but the records show that four marriages emerged from the 12 people there. Mother and Father were married in Lichfield in December 1948 and went to live in Primrose Hill in London. Mother recalled walking home in smog so thick that the buses were cancelled and she had to feel her way along the house fronts. They followed Father’s work to Derbyshire and Northampton, where I was born – she told me tis was the most exciting day of her life. We came to Wendover in 1954 when Father took up practice in Aylesbury. Jonathan was born the following year. We lived in Chiltern House before becoming briefly homeless between rentals (we were taken in by new friends) and then moving to Chiltern Road. In 1959 we moved to New Orchard in Ellesborough Road, which was a wonderful family home - even if freezing in winter. Having lived through the war and food rationing New Orchard was perfect for Mother, with the garden producing copious amounts of fresh fruit and vegetables in season; there being no fridge, let alone freezer, at that time the surplus beans were salted, gooseberries and soft fruit bottled, and the rest made into jam, marmalade and chutney. Angela sent car loads of apples from Devon which we ate daily in numerous recipes from October until at least March, usually longer; I am still pretty ambivalent about apples. Mary and Ally were born, at home, and the family was brought up traditionally, almost entirely by Mother. We all learned to cook, which we enjoyed; also to wash and dry up after meals, which we enjoyed less. We practised lawn mowing, garden digging, hedge cutting, firewood collection and sawing; inside, we learned to light fires, hang wall paper, paint walls and ceilings, and even a bit of sewing. One of my abiding memories is Mother cooking Christmas lunch for 17, which she did most years; how she served a hot roast meal with all the trimmings from one oven and four electric rings I still don’t know – but she loved it. I also remember reheated and cold turkey meals for the following week, though a lot less fondly. Mother went back to teaching just before Ally turned 5, and continued at Halton and then John Colet until she retired after a struggle with ME. In her 50s she switched to teaching Humanities as Domestic Science had effectively been removed from the curriculum. She enjoyed the new challenge and even learnt to use a computer, although she promptly forgot that on retirement. Years later she often met people in Wendover whom she had taught and she took real pleasure from them remembering her. After 35 years in New Orchard, Tony and Margaret moved in 1994 closer to the centre of the village and a house which was a much more manageable size and, oh joy, had central heating. It proved an inspired choice and they were very happy there. They were able to holiday widely, getting to Brunei, Singapore and Australia as well as the Middle East and several European countries. Mother inherited two step-grand-daughters when I married Danielle and had a biological one when Hannah was born a few years later. She had a wonderful relationship with all of them. Mother nursed Father during his last years, and he made it clear that she was not only his preferred nurse but the only one he wanted. After his death in their 60th year of married life, she spent more time with her brother John, who lived in Windsor and had also been widowed. They travelled together in Europe and attended dinners and concerts in Windsor; they were excellent for each other. Sadly, John died during the Covid period and life was never quite so good for Mother after that. Her other friends in Wendover were also dying or going into Homes and she felt more isolated. Fortunately, she had younger friends too. When Covid confinement was introduced, I decided she needed a modern mobile phone to keep in touch with the outside world – much against the advice of my siblings. I had to send this via Fran as I was in France, and she pre-entered Mother’s family and main friends’ numbers as well as installing WhatsApp and writing instructions for use. I have to say it was touch and go for a while but Mother gradually got to accept it and then to depend on it, although she always called it “the machine”. She loved being able to see family and friends – and of course not to have to worry about the bill. She never quite mastered it – but at 95 who can blame her? – and conversations often started with “Did you ring me?”, followed a little later by “I don’t know what happened there” as the picture went small or was turned off inadvertently. Mother adored children, and the smaller the better it seemed. She took a lot of pleasure and pride from her own, and often said how lucky she was with her family; I think she made her own good luck. She was thrilled by Hannah’s birth, and again when Liv produced Ari and then Goldie; she found Fran’s identical twins fascinating if a bit boisterous. Two days before her death we brought 4-year-old Goldie down to see her and she was happy showing her how to play the piano; they both played with their toy tea sets – Mother’s over 90 years old. She managed to keep up with all the widespread family, remembering birthdays and anniversaries. In March 2023 she had a knee replacement, persuading the surgeon that it was worth operating on a 97-year-old. She told him she had had a wonderful life and would not mind if she died on the operating table. She should have replaced it sooner, but kept insisting that she didn’t need it despite very obvious pain and saying that she did not want to inconvenience the family. It proved a great success; her last year was pain free and she got to drive again! She was always very clear about what she did and did not want to do, and no amount of persuasion was going to convince her to get a dishwasher or to replace some of her older cooking equipment. She was determined to cook for her visitors – always refusing invitations to eat out. We were never quite sure whether she did this to show us that she could still cope, or if it was equally to prove this to herself. Probably a bit of both. Danielle suggested she should eat out once a week with friends, but Mother told me “If I did that it wouldn’t be special anymore”. Whatever the reason, cooking, washing and ironing, gardening and driving herself to church were important to her. After our last visit the day before her death, we spoke to her in the evening and it was clear that the day’s high point was the weather turning good so she could wash the bedding. It is difficult to be surprised when a 98-year-old dies, but we were convinced she was going to make her 100. She seemed so full of life, retaining her mind, her interest in other people, her hearing and her eyesight. Mother was particularly determined about two things. She wanted to stay in her home and not go into any nursing home or sheltered accommodation; and she would like to die quietly in her sleep. She got her own way. Sometimes I wonder if her last thought was “I don’t know what happened th…..”. Margaret Seabrook was a remarkable lady and a lovely mother. Requiescat in pace.

I am so lucky and glad to have met you Margaret. I will miss our Wednesday chats and your words of wisdom, and sympathetic ear, if ever needed. And also the flapjacks (every week)!!!, that came with. One of my recent memories was us enjoying the BMX at the Paris Olympics, and us both being amazed by the riders incredible skills and bravery. You were so enthusiastic to take new things on board. Sending my love xx

What Margaret could achieve with a biscuit offering, her calm presence and parenting know-how, was always a sight to behold at Noah's Ark toddler group. There was not a child who remained untamed or a parent unsupported when Margaret was around dishing out hot tea and wisdom to grateful parents and grandparents. I cherish the years I spent alongside her when I was co-running the group with other Mum friends. We were all in awe of her energy, tenacity and ingenuity. I remember one particularly icy morning when she appeared at the door having braved the weather in her spiked shoes - she really was unstoppable. I met many of her family and friends at her 90th birthday gathering so know first hand how many lives she has touched. She really was an incredible lady. Sending all my love to her family and friends during this sad time.